Saturday, October 30, 2010


Energy is bubbling up in big, colorful, shimmering bubbles,
floating through my body and out
bubbles big and getting bigger
out of my eyes, my pores, my heart, my skin,
just oozing out, flying out
Smile on my face
A life force not directed at anything or anyone
just bubbling out
they don't pop, just float

Effervescent water
sparkling, expanding my chest, belly and breathing
giggles within the bubbles
laughter so hard and big I will cry and roll on the floor
Girls laughter, bear laughter, wild cat laughter, shouting laughter, singing laughter, shaking laughter, gleeful laughter

Tears of gratitude for this moment, this space, this time

I am able to scoop up the world and dance with it inside my stream of bubbles
spiraling upward and out
Exuberance unnecessary to contain rather to expand and enfold
I am here in my body and am as large as the world

I am seeing bubble everywhere
Imagine the world, each and every being floating, merging, separating, bubbles within larger bubbles
Streams of bubbles like millions of children - honorary adult children included - blowing bubbles
Like divers coming back to the surface in the stream of bubbles, after that magical trip to an anciently familiar world

Can you see it? Can you hear it? Can you feel it?

A cheeky morning (what if we started a campaign...)

I am feeling cheeky this morning

What if we started a "blow bubbles" campaign?
Everything would have to be held lightly, playfully, vibrantly
Every life force honored and given the change to join the stream, to be revered for its beauty and be a necessary , vital part
To be able to fly and float and be appreciated
Pointed at excitedly, with awe and delight

What if we started a laughter campaign?
Everybody would have to relate through laughter and smiles
Laughs from the belly, from the toes, from the heart, from the soul, from the lungs
Kind, knowing smiles
Sexy, thrilling, desiring smiles
Appreciative, honoring smiles
Generous, indulgent chuckles
Roaring, ear popping laughs
Grieving, holding, soft-eyed smiles that are held in ones soul and rarely leave ones eyes
Inviting, welcoming, " I can't wait for you to get here" and "I am so glad you are here" smiles, broad and shy ones
Trusting, sharing responsibility, joining smiles
Joyful, expectant, "don't know what to do with all my excitement" laughs, those laughs that ramp up and make everything possible
Resolute smiles that can move mountains

What if we started a "dance, sing and run whenever we are called to do so" campaign?
What energies would be released?
What illnesses cured?
What aches soothed?
What new languages would we discover and ancient ones remember?
What knowing would we trust again and use?
How would we touch each other?
How much laughter would be heard?
How would spaces change and expand?
How would we see each other differently?
How would our and our children's bodies, voices and souls be?

What if we started a "honoring stillness" campaign?
Anytime, anywhere, anyplace,
settling into, letting be, being with, coming out of stillness,
alone, together
Drawing energy, clarity, quality of relationships...

What's time to campaign.

Monday, October 25, 2010

My solo (soul) spot

4 days
1 day of searching, of being called to, of letting come to,
3 days of arriving and being... solo, blessedly alone and never lonely
Safe and found.
Relinquishing those tethers one by one
Finding my solo spot to be in and to take in
What is this spot that is waiting for me? Calling for me?
Did I dream it into being?
It has been within me all this time
and it will be in my heart and soul to be my refuge,
my place to go to to stay wild,
to be my promise to myself and the world, the one that it will kill me to break,
a reminder of what was, is and will be possible.
As I move from that wild world into this world,
as I am in-between,
making forays, getting overwhelmed and exhausted,
getting excited and sweet and joyful,
my solo spot is here with me.
Like one of those glass bubbles that has cities and landscapes inside and I can turn it over to let it snow.
The energy of the mountain cat on those ledges and in those caves
The energy of the forest and the sweet meadow queens and maidens
The energies of the aspens and proud pine trees, calling on kestrels to visit and perch and on cave bears to lumber and meander along
The stream with foxes and deers emerging from the branches and sun-dappled leaves
The water trickling with just enough fluidity to create and sustain life, curtains falling over stones, soaking into lush grass, remembering this raging river that could be.
The energies of the unrelenting sun, the moon, the rocks reflecting back the warmth stored during the day to keep me warm at night.
Tree trunks, shapes, looming rock creatures, all available in this bubble of my new and old solo soul spot.

The Council

So, this is what adults are like
Listening with the ears of the heart
Speaking from the heart
Being concise,
Being spontaneous
Letting questions arise that open growth for the one next to us
Knowing how much space to take and to give
Trusting it will be just right
Seeing with compassion, with soft eyes
Seeing with eyes that hold the possibilities of each other and the necessity of the journey
Letting be and being with
Co-creating and joining while being respectful, mindful, excited about each individual's creation
Knowing the whole has to hold the parts and the parts the whole - and it cannot be otherwise
Taking in , accessing what is available around us, through us and within us.
Encouraging, being patient, mirroring, acknowledging, respecting, listening for all that is said and unsaid and doesn't have to be said with human voice.
Knowing when completion has happened.
Knowing when space has to be held for a beginning to take place.
So, that's what adults are like.
Looking into each others' eyes without flinching, without protecting, with unwavering love and peace
Diving into each others' souls without fearing depletion or being devoured or devouring the other
So that's what adults are like.
Stepping up fully to that what asks to be revealed, to be promised, to be lived into action - no more and no less.


It is over
No more more looking over one's shoulder to see who might be watching and who not
Who might be saying or thinking what
No more holding breath
No more keeping small
Just deliberate, discerning, distinct revealing with conviction
Grounded in that inner being and knowing that what has been birthed cannot be undone again.
And yet... fearing that it might...
Tracking when and where the letting out and living into the world is being stopped, pushed down, held in, tightened, reversed.
Spontaneously following intuition, insight from another time and place.
And hoping that my new knowing will be enough
My new knowing that who I vigilantly look over my shoulder for me.

The Kiva

Down, down into the earth
From the light into the warm, dark yet neuminous round
swirling, whirling, spiraling, twirling, crawling, clawing, crying, singing, chanting, howling beings
Giving voice
Visiting, welcoming, pushing through, dancing around
Inviting, challenging, poking through, emerging, daring to show themselves, finally free
Pulsating with the drum beat (creating their own heartbeat),
creating rhythms, weaving together, separating, joining again
Becoming same, becoming different, changing shapes
Voices freed from shapes, shapes freed from voices.
Beginnings of journeys, endings of journeys, births and deaths.
Entering and leaving, discovering, uncovering and burying.
Recognition and surprises.
The opening to the underworld pushed fully open
The view of the upperworld in plain sight
Communing with each other and with self
Communing with this reality, this space and the spaces beyond.
Holding self and each other in this and other worlds.
Leaving judgement and definitions to evaporate into the swirling, to make space to hold the whole.
Walking back up the ladder, reshaped, reboned, revoiced, remade or...
as the one and the other.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Child of woman, woman of child to be

Child of war, woman of peace
Child of terror, woman of safety and beauty
Child of darkness, woman of light
Child of sacrifice, woman of life and growth
Child of war soldiers, woman with peace soldiers as her allies
Child of love, woman of love and soul
Child so small, woman so big and eternal
Child so silent, woman so loud and sweet
Child so secretive, woman of truth
Child of surreptitious detours, woman of the straight line and walk
Child of the woman to be, woman of the child to be

My beloved (trees as teachers)

My beloved,
you can grow, there will be space provided for you.
Seek the nurturing ground and then go straight for the sunlight of your soul.
It is all up to you. And it is not all up to you.

Not every want will be met but whether rain or ice or drought, look at the trees, the tree still grows, tall, vibrant, round, spiral, capturing the sunlight in its leaves and branches.
You will be host to those who come to visit you and you will, at times, not be sought out because time and need are not aligned for those others.

So much vibrancy, so many different shapes, no need to make space for others at your expense, for those who are strong and meant to be will also grow.  With you.
You will share sun, earth, sky, air, light, water with everybody.
Therefore your want is for growth -  body, heart and soul.

You know your heart and what it is capable of.
You know your body.
You have heard the whispers of your soul.  Once you hear it clearly, there will be no compromise, no turning back.

The mystery is yet to be revealed

The mystery is yet to be revealed.
All life shaping and being shaped in symphony, in cacophony.
Wounds being opened, scars licked by love and compassion to blend back into the beautiful body that was and will never be the same again.

Fires roaring to cleanse, to create, to nurture, to ignite, to propel seeds into their full growth and potential.
Water raging, foaming, foaming, shaping, melding, melting, lovingly caressing, relentlessly pounding, transforming other as it is transforming itself.

Earth, so immensely rich and deep, mother and father, nurturing and holding, bringing forth and swallowing up.

Wind, caressing and howling, reducing great rocks to sand and sand to eternity. Whispering and bellowing, carrying seeds and birds and pounding everything to the earth.

Rocks, solid, giving rise to images of what was, what is and what could be, energies solid and yet untamed.

Sun, fierce and burning, changing, birthing, loving, being the compass of life and seasons, of gods and soul, of hearts and songs.

Moon, gentle, enveloping, stroking bodies, loves and beings. Stroking waves and trees, reflecting, glittering, rendering all beautiful, bringing out the tenderness of lovers and the magic of mystical beings, otherwise not seen.

Trees, rooted, strong, yet shaped by other energies. Claiming space, making space, ultimate creation, live-giving being in this world.  Singing into being the sun, the earth the wind and the water. Taking in the sun and the moon and reflecting them so their beauty is magnificent to behold.

The mystery is yet to be revealed - mystery I greet you.

That roaring fire

That roaring fire is being stoked.  The companions evaluated for their capacity to withstand it, to add fuel, to help hold and reveal it.  Body and soul is being nurtured and strengthened to bring it forth. Voice is sweetened to give song to the fire. Heath is wide open and known, it is the gateway.

Deeper and deeper, layers upon layers will have to fall to access the deepest of fire, the deepest of roar, so it can continue.  Soul must be known. In one clear moment, all covering is being removed.  And out.  The sleeper is awake, the child is guiding with wide eyes, stepping into mystery, the peace soldiers are standing guard and are ready to keep the fire sacred, belonging to me and the world.

The soul energies, those patient, beautiful beings are beyond being tamed.  They have been let loose. An all consuming fire ready to bring forth the most beautiful shimmer, flames, crackling, explosions, sparks the world has ever seen.  The world has been waiting for this, the wait is over.

The mystery

The mystery is unfolding, how and what is will look like is part of the unfolding.  As I caress the world, fly with the wind on its wings, listen to its songs, melt into the belly of the earth, gape wide-eyes and hear-soaring at the stars, love with the moon and rejoice with the sun, the mystery is all around me and I within it.

So the question is not how and what but will I let the mystery find me, will I allow its unfolding, will I join in breathing and singing it into being again and again. There is nothing more important than to hold the mystery in the palm of my hand, like the most precious I have ever held, gaze at it lovingly with all my heart and soul and let it unfold.

Hold it gently with open palm so it can take flight at any time and yet, give it the strength and solidity of my warm, sweet hand through which my blood flows. Be in awe at its beauty and continuously dazzling change in color.  Accept its flight as well as its settling into my hand.  Be grateful for both. And not be afraid, my hand will always be the right one, just what is required.

Don't squeeze too tightly or I might kill it.
Don't grab after it or I might scare it or wound it.
Don't make a fist or it can't reveal itself.
Don't fear what it requires of me, surrender to it.

Keep my palm open and the unfolding will be beyond my current imagination and I will say to myself and the world: it is so.