Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Broken open by a larger being

Being shaken and rattled all night. Bashed, flung onto rocks, battered without pain, broken to pieces by a darker, larger force – and the surrendering is easy.  No fear.

Being taken under the arms and shaken out of my skin, so much attachment, so many strong links, pulling and thrusting.  Gentle and determined hands sliding along my inner body and peeling it away from my outer skin.  How long it takes, how firmly all is one, how fiercely, ferociously, unwaveringly I am dying to the old – the process of reemergence as the me that had always been waiting to be.

Like my dragon swans unwinding the snake that winds too tightly around my chest, my heart, my throat, my lungs.  The snake the prevents my being fully in the light, out in the world as me with voice, heart, dance, soul and song. With different movements. Stepping forward with all of me, not just offering part of me, not just sending my loyal soldiers, not just baring my wounded child.

Holding my loyal soldiers, those who have protected me so well, given me a magical, wonderful life, in my arms, looking into each others eye so sweetly, knowing each other so well, honoring the life we have been able to give each other.

Giving each other sacred vows to help each other bring love and passion fully into this world and receive it and have it be received.

Being broken open – and finding the promise it will kill me to break is again never to close again – never to go back to sleep.

Surrendering to the tides of time

Arms, legs, heart, soul, lungs, eyes wide open, I am lying on a red rock in the middle of a tidal flow of time and timelessness
In the middle of an ancient ocean, the stars are floating on the waves of air high above
A passionately, endlessly and gently exploding and on the verge of exploding energy is coursing through me.
creative, tense, just on the edge and yet always flowing – like the never ending, never ceasing, exciting and soothing, glowing and awakening, sensuous touch of a lover. Like the caressing and holding, a beholding of that gaze, that smile that a lover gives you when thought unobserved or fully present if courageous.
Is this the beloved?  Is this the flow of all flows?
Right through me and I am within it and it is in me.
Before, now and after.
Opposites united – awe and knowing, arousal and softening, sensing and beyond senses, within and part of.


Beauty is light being reflected in many different ways
To create colors and textures that touch everything.
Beauty is being filled with light radiating out through every pore.

What can beauty teach us but that we are all being touched by everything, suffused, diffused, maybe even confused by the connections, the dabbling, dancing, bouncing off of each others, the prisms and possibilities, the radiance and brilliance.

Darkness then is not an absence of light but an absence of reflection, an absence of something that the light can shine on and be thrown back from at different angles, darkness it light being absorbed. 

Light is always there, everywhere, whether we can see it or not – a trick of the eye.  And our souls can discern it, that quality of velvet darkness where the light is touching us, where we are absorbing the pure light without reflecting it away from us.  And so it is with beauty.

What alchemy then to be able to radiate it out as energy, as our core being, touching others and either creating rainbows or sweet, deep darkness and a soft, humming glow.