Saturday, December 25, 2010

What do I know

What do I know about love?

I know deep within me when it happens that door opening with a force, it takes my voice and breath away and .... nothing is as it was before
How much it takes to shove that door closed again, to dull the light, to deaden the breath
and it will never be closed fully

So many ways of loving, so many loves
Being called to love and loving
Being a lover to loves, submerging and dissolving
Shaping, creating and seeing

Faith that love arises no matter where
Adjusting to seeing and taking in love from anywhere and everywhere
Letting myself be filled

Love is seeing other and self
and still loving

Love is to give up what one most wants for the sake of that want taking flight,
for the sake of letting a creation that wants to happen, happen,
of letting a journey that wants to happen, take shape
with or without one self
how beautiful if it could be together

Always beholding both
Love and loss
Love and grief
Love and anger
Love and sadness
Love and life and death

Love is dreaming of my life as I am becoming

My dance - bringing anew

When I find my own dance I shine, I am brilliant as me, I dance the way no other can
I am not trying on someone else's dance, making it fit but creating me
I am the dance, I am me
And that dance feels so real and right and sweet
That dance is drawing me in and out and to me
When I find my own expression, I will say what nobody else has said before and how nobody has said it before
When I find my own seeing and holding and dancing into and within my body, I will see and embody and dance into the world what has never been there before

That then is everybody's and my gift, to being anew

For at any instant that newness has a chance of meeting openness,
A moment in time where others can hear differently, as I bring differently
A moment in time when seeing new and dancing new happens
A present that has never been there before
and the future is forever changed.

Bursting forth

What a revelation
I can sing, sing with such joy, it is bringing tears to my eyes
My lungs cannot contain enough breath to let out all I have inside, all the song and exuberance, all the melody and energy
My fullness is bursting forth, erupting, emerging, waving, vibrating into space, rippling out and merging with other ripples
For that is what song is, voice in motion, soul in vibration, joining others, joining the world, breath air mixing with breath and air, life mixing with life
Looks of recognition
A different language, so ancient, we recognize and know it
My whole body is transformed as I sing
Every cell of my body is coming into synchronicity within myself and outside of myself
The range of high and low notes, loud and soft ones feeling like water
I can taste the notes, melting, shaping in my body

Love taking flight

When love unfolds, its wings are beyond measure
The night air itself is transformed
Soft, yielding and speckled with sparks of energy and passion
Water, earth, fire and air becoming one
The diamond of energy has taken shape
A new form is found

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


What simple insight and how important:

I can't see or hear or prepare myself into dance, I can only dance myself into dance

I can't push myself into softness and flow, I can only soften myself into softness, flow into flow

I can't think or strategize or wish or ask or muscle or please or negotiate myself into love, I can only love myself into love

I can't  personalize, balancing the give and take myself into caring, I can only care myself into caring, constantly deeply seeing the I/You and the we

I can't pushing- out words and thoughts, taking-over with excitement, sharing waterfall-like, gushing revelations myself into closeness, I can only move myself close into closeness and give space to other to come close

I can't predict, analyze, hope, predispose myself into attunement, I have to attune myself into attunement

I can't straighten, walk, dress, speak, hear, listen myself into that flamenco wild gypsy, that feminine woman being, I can only flamenco, belly-dance, salsa, ballet-dance, sing myself into it, know that flamenco gypsy is in me and know it into being

I can't bits and pieces, fits and starts myself into the mystery, my journey, I can only throw myself into, surround myself with, mystify myself into the journey, into the mystery

I can't protect, measure, deliberate myself into fullness, I can only fill myself or let myself be filled into fullness

I can't figure out, anticipate, cleverly argue, postpone, worry myself into what is possible, I can only live the possible, live it as if it were already a reality, as if it were already here, not just that, that is is here. Without another thought - just act, be, feel that way.